Posts in Emotional Health
Sexual self-care means communication & patience.

This refers to communication with your health professionals about treatment options and sexual function outcomes or problems you are having. It also refers to communication with your partner. Sometimes sex is hard to talk about, family, religion, cultural norms etc.. can all impact on how comfortable we are talking about sex. Communication is key. Learning to work together is an important part of sharing pleasure. Patience is with yourself, your partner and your health professional. We are all human and this is hard, but worth it.

Communication takes work. A lot of it. How often have you walked away from a conversation with your partner feeling angry, disappointed or misunderstood especially when it has to do with sex? How often have you said things you regretted, things that hurt your partner unnecessarily? How often have you wished for more open and honest communication with the person your intimate partner?

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Sexual self care is valuing your pleasure.

Pleasure is the ultimate form of sexual self care or self care in general. Pleasure is an important part of a happy healthy life and a priority in general self care and sexual self care. It encompasses all the points before it and more.

Valuing your pleasure is a part of valuing, accepting and loving yourself. It can be a great way to support your mental health. Having said that it can be hard for many women to stop and take care of themselves first because we are taught to take care of others.

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A bad BDSM experience has shaken me up

Q: For years I’ve enjoyed BDSM play but a recent bad experience has shaken me. I hooked up with a guy, who seemed to be an experienced "top", and we negotiated a scene together. He was able to take me deep into "sub" space and I enjoyed pushing my boundaries. When it was over though, he just went and had a shower. I asked if I could shower too and he handed me a towel and told me he was calling me a taxi. I felt shell-shocked and bewildered by the way he just cut me off.

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How do I move on from a bad relationship?

Q: I’m struggling to let go of my ex, and am allowing him to keep mistreating me. We agreed to part in February, but I’m drawn to him. He doesn’t want contact but I keep persisting, so he relents and we see each other and are intimate. That comforts me, but then it’s over, and I feel even worse. It’s an awful cycle of disrespect, to both myself and from him. How can I move on?

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Since my marriage ended I miss hugs, cuddles and affectionate contact

Q: My marriage ended eight years ago. I’ve seen a few women since, but nothing developed. Recently, I’ve tried a dating site. I’ve had coffee with a couple of people, but again, nothing clicked. Now in my 50s, I realise I’m fairly content with life as it is, apart from one thing. I’ve always been a very tactile person. I’m not so bothered about sex, but I miss hugs, cuddles and affectionate contact. I enjoy a regular massage, but that’s a commercial, clinical arrangement. Any suggestions?

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How to handle the laws of emotion.

Q: Sam and I have always worked on our relationship, reading books, and attending workshops and seminars. We've resolved a range of problems over the years, but there is one destructive pattern that seems impossible to change. Sometimes, something is said or done that triggers an extreme reaction in one, or both of us. The anger, fear, and blame expressed is so intense you'd think we hated each other. What's going on?

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5 Reasons Physical Touch is So Important

Touch is a sense that in today’s busy digital age we are engaging in less and less. This arguably plays a part in the increase in loneliness, mental and emotional health issues of today. Despite the many positives that technology has brought to our lives or innate need for connection has not evolved to the point where touch is no longer needed for our physical and emotional health – no not even robotic sex dolls can replace consensual, pleasurable human touch. Physical touch is vital for our health.

A favourite topic of mine.

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