Posts in Sexual Wellness
The Bliss Guide to Menopause.

Sexual problems are far more common across the life span for those of us with vulva’s and vagina’s then most people realise. There are times through our life that this is more likely to occur and peri menopause is one of those times. Hormone changes may contribute to the likelihood that you will experience sexual issues, but it is important that we are not only blaming hormones, sex and intimacy is far more complicated than that. It is important that the whole person is taken into account including relationship issues, how you feel about yourself, mental and emotional health, physical health, medications, the messages you hold about sex as well as what menopause means as a woman.

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11 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Sex and Menopause.

Menopause is an important women’s health issue that is still shrouded in silence. Add sex into the conversation and things get taboo. This is the first article about menopause and sex, a cataylst for this important conversation.

It is important to know if you are having a problem with sexual function during menopause, there is a very good chance it is not in your head and you are not alone.

1.   Younger women and older women can go through menopause and sex is still something they want in their lives. 

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The problem with Kegels!

Before we start we will say yes we do stock Kegel eggs, Ben Wa Balls and Kegel exercises.

We believe that every woman needs to see a pelvic physiotherapist at different points through her life.

We firmly believe that a healthy pelvic floor is an important part of our health that we do not get taught about and we do not talk about enough.

We believe that kegels have a place in pelvic health but only if you know they are right for you. That is where the pelvic physiotherapist and assessment comes in.

Kegels are not for everyone and that is OK.

The fantastic Sami from Body & Birth Physiotherapy has allowed us to share this information with our readers so that you can make an informed choice in your purchasing at Bliss. We are are so happy to be able to share quality information for an expert in pelvic health with you.

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World Sexual Health Day 2019, 4th September 2019

“Sexuality Education for all: a bridge to sexual health.”

This year is all about the importance of comprehensive sexuality education (CSE) for all age groups and contexts. The aim is to emphasize that people of all ages and backgrounds should have access to sexuality education.

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What Turns You On? The 4 Steps to Discover What You Enjoy Sexually

We are proud to announce that we are sponsoring Isiah McKimmie’s podcast Wholehearted: Love, Sex & Intimacy. The following is the first one and we love it. It is a little surreal hearing an advertisement of your business for the first time but it is also amazing. We are so excited to be working with Isiah.

Isiah loves helping women become sexually empowered, which we are all about! Isiah and the Bliss Team both come across this often, women will say “I don’t know what I like. How do you find out? How do I tell my partner what I like?”

And partners will say “I wish I knew what she really enjoys sexually. I try to ask but she says she doesn’t know. I just want to please her.”

In this podcast Isiah shes tips to help discover epic pleasure:

  • Vital factors of a woman’s turn on

  • Her 4 step formula to discover what you really enjoy

  • Playful ways to explore with yout partner

  • Sexy suggestions from other women.

You can listen to the podcast here.

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What you need to know about Dildos.

Dildos seem simple right? But then again maybe there is more to this sex toy then you think. So, here is a comprehensive look at how to use a dildo.

Did you know that the world's oldest known dildo is a siltstone 20-centimeter phallus from the Upper Palaeolithic period 30,000 years ago that was found in Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm Germany. Findings of the archaeologists show that ancient Egyptians used dildos 2500 years ago. Also these sex toys were used by ancient Greeks. So, let’s learn a little more about the oldest sex toy.

A few handy hints before we start;

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Pelvic Floors - Too short, too long or just right?

Pelvic floor health is an important part of women’s health and has an impact on sexual health, sexual pleasure and function. It can impact bowel and urinary function as well. In order to address the question what is pelvic floor health we spoke to Sami Cattach from Body and Birth Physio to find out more. This article explains how the muscles in the pelvic floor work and some simple steps to look after your pelvic floor.

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What is the most effective sex tip you have given?

When people find out I am a sexologist - sexuality educator I get some odd questions. Though the most common question I get is what is your most effective sex tip? It is simple and one of my favourite topics.

Touch, Touch more.

Sounds simple doesn’t it? Yes, but touching more often in your relationship has the power to transform your sex life. If you are thinking about spicing up your sex life, you may be thinking blindfolds and other things inspired by 50 shades and touch is probably not the first things that comes to mind. Most people think they need to do more elaborate stuff but it really can be a simple as starting with touching more.

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Orgasm myths getting in the way of your pleasure.

Q: "One of my fears is that I will never have an orgasm - on my own or with a partner. I feel like I am missing out and it is not fair. I am scared that there is something wrong with me and that I will never be enough. It feels like everyone else knows how to orgasm."

This statement from a email query received covers so many myths about female orgasm. If you had a gut reaction when you read that, stop, take a deep breath and know you are not alone.  

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Post uterine cancer treatment do I have an option that is more targeted at pleasure than a dilator?

Q: A number of years ago I had uterine cancer and as a result I have to dilate every other day. I am currently using a medical dilator and it is not very comfortable and I would like to purchase something that is not as hard. It would be great if it was something that is targeted more for pleasure than just dilation. I was hoping you might be able to point me in the right direction.

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Sexual self care is saying no when you need to & asking for help when you need it.

There is nothing wrong with saying no.

You do not need to be a sex goddess and turned on all the time.

There is a very big difference between saying no when you need to in order to take care of you and saying no in order to avoid intimacy. If you are in a place where you are avoiding intimacy beacuse it causes you pain, because it makes you anxious or there is something else going on, it is ok to ask for help. There are professionals that can help you.

You are not alone and you are worth it.

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Sexual self care is knowing it is ok to use lubrication or other aides to improve your comfort and pleasure.

Knowing it is OK to use lubricants. Knowing the importance of and using quality lubricants. Lubricants, vaginal moisturisers and other adult toys can help increase your pleasure and comfort. Using quality lubes, toys or other products is important for your health and your pleasure.

Uncomfortable. Painful. Dry.

Would you describe sex using any of these words? If you do, then lubricants may be your new best friend. In fact, even if these words aren’t what you would use to describe intercourse, lubricants are still your best friend.

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Sexual self-care means being mindful during sexual experiences.

Does this sound familiar?

101 things on my to do list - Fatigued and pained - Too busy, Too tired - My scars are ugly - Hurry up or no that is not right.

Who has all this and far more going on in their head?

It’s all that distracts us during intimacy & sexual experiences. I make that distinction on purpose. There is an abundance of pleasure, connection & health benefits to be had in non sexual, consensual touch. Being able to be mindful during those interactions is sexual self care.

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Sexual self care is knowing sex does not have to be spontaneous.

Spontaneous sex is a romantic notion that modern life does not always allow and health challenges chuckle at. Make a date and commit to it, manage your time, your energy and your connection in the lead up to it. Place a priority on your connection and your pleasure. Talk about it and what you are ready for before hand. It tell your partner what your boundaries are and it also builds anticipation.

Remember life happens so it is OK to change plans but try not to make it every time – that’s not priority or commitment. Start small.

Isiah McKimmie’s podcasts have graciously been shared with the Bliss Community. We love her work and we are grateful that she is allowing us to share her podcast through Bliss. In this podcast Isiah will talks about How and where to start when you haven’t had sex in months or years.

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Sexual self care is knowing that there is more to sex than intercourse.

This could be a long one. Do not let your definition of sex be defined by porn or what you see in Hollywood romance movies.

Sex and pleasure are a smorgasbord and you get to choose what works for you. You can even change your mind and/or go back for seconds. Its all the fun, pleasurable, cheeky, exciting stuff you can get up to before orgasm, before intercourse and even before your clothes come off. It is pleasure in whatever form that takes for you.

Once you understand that sex is broader than many people think it opens up a whole new world to explore. Then the trick is to be able to communicate that to your partner(s).

It is safe to assume that most of us a pretty good at communicating in most situations in life. We are taught from a young age how to communicate what we need and want. Then there is sex and we are for the most part not taught about and not all that great at. Research (Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy) tells us that sharing sexual needs and desires with your partner positively improves relationship satisfaction.

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Sexual self-care means communication & patience.

This refers to communication with your health professionals about treatment options and sexual function outcomes or problems you are having. It also refers to communication with your partner. Sometimes sex is hard to talk about, family, religion, cultural norms etc.. can all impact on how comfortable we are talking about sex. Communication is key. Learning to work together is an important part of sharing pleasure. Patience is with yourself, your partner and your health professional. We are all human and this is hard, but worth it.

Communication takes work. A lot of it. How often have you walked away from a conversation with your partner feeling angry, disappointed or misunderstood especially when it has to do with sex? How often have you said things you regretted, things that hurt your partner unnecessarily? How often have you wished for more open and honest communication with the person your intimate partner?

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Sexual self care is valuing your pleasure.

Pleasure is the ultimate form of sexual self care or self care in general. Pleasure is an important part of a happy healthy life and a priority in general self care and sexual self care. It encompasses all the points before it and more.

Valuing your pleasure is a part of valuing, accepting and loving yourself. It can be a great way to support your mental health. Having said that it can be hard for many women to stop and take care of themselves first because we are taught to take care of others.

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Sexual self-care means understanding your likes, dislikes, and knowing that if those change, it’s ok.

It doesn’t just mean what you like sexually. We experience pleasure in all areas of our life. Illness and other stressors can change many aspects of our lives including how we experience pleasure and what we enjoy and appreciate. It forces us to face these changes so that we can move forward. Mindful self touch, like meditating can settle our mind, and our body. Pleasure mapping solo or partnered can be a non sexual to redefine pleasure. Pleasure mapping can also be used to start to explore pleasure in sexual touch.

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Are we too young to stop having sex?

Q: Can a marriage be good, happy and fulfilled but sexless? Gino (52) and I (48) have been married for 20 years. After our two children were born, sex dwindled, due to the usual pressures of family life. We are still relatively young, but haven't had sex for almost three years because Gino lost interest too. We both agreed this was OK. I was never a very sexual person. Gino usually initiated sex, and I don't miss it. We still have a very good relationship, and kiss and cuddle, and have physical contact. Are we too young to stop having sex?

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