If you've always enjoyed reading romance novels or sexy stories you are not alone. You also probably already know that just sitting quietly turning pages in your favourite sexy story is a great distraction from stress and huge turn on. You are not weird but knowing what happens in your brain when you read erotica will reassure you of that and will make you completely rethink the phrase "mind over matter."Read More
Who has grown up watching romance movies or rom-coms?
Hands up, we know you are out there. From those rom-coms you probably have a very specific idea of what "good" sex looks like. Hot, romantic movie sex is dramatic, perfectly choregraphed full of spontaneity, sexual tension and simultaneous orgasms.
Who has sex like that?Read More
Q. We have both been so busy lately the only time we seem to have sex is when we actually schedule it into our calendars. If it is not something we have accepted in our calendars we either hit our pillows and pass out or I go to bed exhausted first and he comes to bed later. It makes me feel like we are doomed. Help are we doomed?
A: This is linked to one of the most common questions I get - should we schedule sex? How do we schedule sex and not get in a rut? The thought of scheduling sex scares people they believe that if they’re not having spontaneous sex, something must be wrong with their relationship, or with their sexual chemistry or that their relationship is doomed. Some even see that making the decision to schedule sex feels like an admission that their sex life is officially doomed. So, is it?Read More
Q Brett and I (early 30s) have been together for 6 years, and have two children (3 and 1). Brett’s a wonderful guy who works hard, is great with the kids, and is loving and supportive of me. He’s been very patient about my lack of interest in sex, but I know he’d like our old sex life back. I love him, but feel no desire. Help.
A You are going through one of life’s most profound transitions. Regardless of age, becoming a parent changes you as fundamentally as adolescence did. Your hormones and your lifestyle have been disrupted. Things will never be just as they were, any more than Brett is likely to rekindle his passion for Spider-Man, nor you, for princesses.Read More
This could be a long one. Do not let your definition of sex be defined by porn or what you see in Hollywood romance movies.
Sex and pleasure are a smorgasbord and you get to choose what works for you. You can even change your mind and/or go back for seconds. Its all the fun, pleasurable, cheeky, exciting stuff you can get up to before orgasm, before intercourse and even before your clothes come off. It is pleasure in whatever form that takes for you.
Once you understand that sex is broader than many people think it opens up a whole new world to explore. Then the trick is to be able to communicate that to your partner(s).
It is safe to assume that most of us a pretty good at communicating in most situations in life. We are taught from a young age how to communicate what we need and want. Then there is sex and we are for the most part not taught about and not all that great at. Research (Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy) tells us that sharing sexual needs and desires with your partner positively improves relationship satisfaction.Read More
I was asked how to approach Valentine’s day when a client had only just started a new relationship? How big or small do you go? It is easy to say why it can feel like a mine field when such loaded holiday is fast approaching when you are still learning about each other in a new relationship. Here are a few quick tips for navigating the mine field.Read More