This could be a long one. Do not let your definition of sex be defined by porn or what you see in Hollywood romance movies.
Sex and pleasure are a smorgasbord and you get to choose what works for you. You can even change your mind and/or go back for seconds. Its all the fun, pleasurable, cheeky, exciting stuff you can get up to before orgasm, before intercourse and even before your clothes come off. It is pleasure in whatever form that takes for you.
Once you understand that sex is broader than many people think it opens up a whole new world to explore. Then the trick is to be able to communicate that to your partner(s).
It is safe to assume that most of us a pretty good at communicating in most situations in life. We are taught from a young age how to communicate what we need and want. Then there is sex and we are for the most part not taught about and not all that great at. Research (Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy) tells us that sharing sexual needs and desires with your partner positively improves relationship satisfaction.