1. Think About Sex
It is not uncommon to have to make an active effort to think about sex. Contrary to popular belief it is not always something that comes naturally. Some people have sex pop into their thoughts more readily than others, while others sex is something that have to make a point of thinking about, neither is better than the other and both are just as fun. So, the tip is taking a few minutes to think about your favourite sexual experience or your favourite fantasy. Make a habit of stopping and thinking about these or the favourite way your partner touches you and how your body responds. It is something you can pretty much do anywhere and is a great kick start before a scheduled date night.
2. Schedule sex
Scheduling sex can be a great way to build anticipation. The idea of having sex soon but not yet can be a real tease. Combine that with thinking about your favourite sexual experience or fantasy beforehand and the foreplay will have started before you even see your partner.
3. Set the Scene
No one feel turned on when they are surrounded by utter chaos. In the lead up to the scheduled sex date do these things to help set the scene for getting turned on. Try these tips - Tidy your bedroom, build a playlist to set the mood, find some candles in a scent that you love, make arrangements so that you won’t be disturbed (yes send the kids on sleep overs and leave your phones in your bags out of the bedroom), make sure your sex toys are charged, cleaned and ready to go.
4. Connect To Your Body
Work, Family, Stress, To Do Lists all mean that many of us spend most of our lives stuck in our heads and disconnected from our bodies. We then struggle to get into our bodies when we want to be intimate. Here are some tips to use to help you feel more desire, get out of your head and connect more with your body - Touch your body, and pay attention to what your touch feels like. This could be how the water feels on your skin in the shower or even masturbating if that’s what feels right for you. Wear something that feels amazing against your skin and notice how it feels as you move. Enjoy grooming then indulge whatever it is that feels good for you, be it brushing your hair or moisturising your skin. Get physical, dancing is a great way to feel more in your body, but you do whatever works for you.
5. Get Started
Some people don’t feel turned on until they start being physically intimate, this is responsive desire. Others are turned on before they become physically intimate with someone this is called spontaneous desire. Those with responsive desire may not be in the mood to start but part way through is really enjoying themselves. Try these two tips - Think about how it feels to have sex with your partner, be specific, this can be a little reminder that is great for helping you get into the mood for sex. Also, if you are with a partner that you trust try allowing yourself to start being physically intimate and see if that leads to you feeling like you want more.