If when you think of foreplay you think the bit before sex, oral or your playbook in this part of sex involves a standard, boob squeeze, a kiss and maybe a fumble with the clitoris it might be time to expand your horizons. PSA: Notice “this part of sex” because foreplay is not the thing that comes before sex it is not something only women enjoy, and it is not something to rush through to get to the main event it is one part of sex. It is one very enjoyable part of all the fun and pleasurable stuff that makes up the experience of sex.
There was a period where the word foreplay was seen as a separator from what people perceived as ‘real sex’. The word became an excuse or a way to minimize this important part of pleasure. Now we think of foreplay as another term we use in talking about all the elements of sex. We don’t exclude part of music, dance or a recipe when cooking, we include every part in the process to the end product because every part is important. We don’t skip the introduction in a piece of music or the preparation part in a recipe because they set up what is to come, foreplay is no different. It is a part of the process. It is only limit is your imagination and what you both enjoy. Don’t know where to start? Here are eight tips to try now to turn your partner on.
Not only are these ideas a great way to help you and your partner relax, connect and get in the mood, you might also find that the build-up is the hottest part of sex.
1. An All-Day Event
Foreplay doesn't need to be limited to the bedroom. Try sexy texts throughout the day, stolen kisses while you're doing errands, whole body cuddles on an escalator, discreetly touching that spot that creates tingles (we are not talking x rated spots, think neck, forearm, etc) while you are out and about, foreplay can a huge turn on well before the main event. Tease each other throughout the day builds anticipation and raises the heat level.
Be Unexpected, Put a Hold on Same, Same.
If all your intimate encounters are starting to be same, same, one of the best foreplay tips for you is to change things up. For example, if you always get down at night, try sex in the morning. Lights off kind of couple, try lighting candles instead. Try changing up how you foreplay and where or how you have sex.
The Thigh Rub
During a dinner date or trip to the movies, stroke your partner’s thigh with slow, firm movements or run your fingernails lightly up towards most intimate areas. Of all the things to turn your partner on, there’s something incredibly sexy about being touched by your partner when you’re out in public, especially when you have to wait to enjoy each other fully. It is that good old idea of wanting what you can’t have.
It Is In The Eyes.
Eye contact is seriously underrated. Now, this one is not always easy for people but maintaining eye contact can create a connection and be very erotic during all parts of sex including foreplay. If eye contact seems odd or awkward we are not suggesting you maintain eye contact the whole time, kissing with eyes open, etc. Start small, try looking into your partner's eyes while you move your hands down and begin to touch them, continuing to hold their gaze just for a minute or two. You can also try this if things progress to giving or receiving oral sex.
Do A Little Dance, Make A Little Love………
No, we are not talking perfect choreography, as always keep it simple. Choose a time and a place when you are feeling your sexiest and set the scene with some candles and a playlist. Choose an outfit that makes you feel your best, maybe some lingerie or a half-unbuttoned shirt and hat, nothing but heels – whatever does it for you!
Really it just has to be something simple. If you are the kind of person that puts their PJs on as soon as they get home (hands up!!!) it can be as simple as making eye contact, with a few sexy hip sways thrown in.
PSA: It is OK to have a giggle, being silly and laughing together is great, it helps you relax and builds intimacy. You can read why we think Silly Sex is Bliss.
Masturbating in front of your partner can be fun but a little scary, we get that. It doesn’t have to be, again you can start out simple. The next time the two of you are together and things are getting heated, start to touch yourself whilst kissing your partner. Try a little nipple stimulation on yourself show your partner how you love to touch yourself. You could try using some clitoral stimulation gel to increase your pleasure and show them how you like to be touched while you put it on. Next step, try placing their hands on top of yours so they can feel what you are doing, but you are in control, switch places but you still control the movement.
Talk Dirty To Me!
You don’t have to be shockingly explicit if this is not something you are comfortable with, that is OK you have options but if it is honey, Enjoy! Talking dirty can be a huge turn on. You can take just about any opportunity to whisper some naughty nothings into your partner's ear, build anticipation while grocery shopping or while things are heating up in the bedroom.
Start by telling them something that comes naturally to you, like how sexy they are to you or that you want them. Including suggestive talk can really heighten sexual tension before you even get to foreplay, as well as increase the passion during sex later.
This is only a small selection of ideas you can try. Remember it is only limited by your imagination and always make sure whatever fun you choose to try, make sure it is safe, sane and consensual.