Q: My partner and I want to try sex standing up. We have tried with limited success and so we could use some pointers. We have a major height difference as one of our challenges but it is also something neither of us have tried before. TIA
A: Your question is such a fun one. I am positive there are other people out there in a similar boat no matter how hot movies make standing sex look. You know the scenes where clothes are lucky to make it off and the characters are so hot for one another that sex must happen right there and then standing or one partner joins another in the shower. It looks effortless right? The reality is it takes some serious coordination, endurance and you even need to consider some practical physics. Yet somehow it is still sexy AF right? So, I can totally understand why a bit of guidance could be useful.
Here are 5 ideas to approach stand up sex
- Start at the bed.
Start at your bed although it can depend on your bed height, your bed can be useful for balance when you are first start with standing sex. The other thing that can play a factor here is a person’s stature. However, to give this a try have one partner stand in front of the bed feet on the floor and bend at the waist, either laying their upper body on top of the bed itself or up on your elbows or hands depending on the height of your bed. The giving partner will stand behind them and enter from behind using their hands to pull your hips into them. The giving partner could enter the receiving partner with a penis or dildo (using a harness) You can try one hand on your partner’s hips and use the other one to explore breasts/pecs.
You could use the kitchen bench for this if it is a better height to bend over than your bed.
- Next try both standing but with support.
This time the receiving partner will stand in front of the dresser, resting their hands on the surface (or you could use the vanity, kitchen bench or dining table for something outside the bedroom). The other partner will stand from behind and enter as before. You may need to bend your knees initially to be able to get the right angle for entry and it can help if the receiving partner bends forward a bit, tilts hips backwards and they could even possibly need to go up on their toes to help with the angle of entry.
Using a dresser or vanity in the bathroom gives you the extra fun of having a mirror that you can watch each other in. Just and idea.
Standing shower sex, be safe first. Make sure the surface you are standing on is a non-slip as possible and there is no soap on the floor. You can try the from behind or face to face. Remember water-based lube will wash away in the shower. Either way you face the receiving partner may still have to move hips to help get the angle for insertion by the giving partner. One tip could be receiving partner puts one foot up on a secure raised surface of some sort (secure is the important word here, safety first), this can help with angles, and you may have to go up on your tip toes with the other foot. The giving partner may also find the get a good quad work out here if they must bend their knees to be in a good position. We recommend both partners have feet on the floor during standing shower sex, for safety reasons.
Please make sure whatever you are leaning against is securely against a wall/secured because the is a lot of weight and force going through it during this. Safety is important so check before you get into the fun.
- Standing foreplay.
As hot as standing sex is no matter which way you face foreplay is still important. So, before your move to one of you standing back against a wall, the other facing them, one hand on the wall, the other hand holding their partner’s leg wrapped around their hips remember foreplay – lubrication and being aroused for penetration is important to make sure your standing sex exploration is as pleasurable as possible.
Foreplay for fully standing, facing each other sex - let your hands explore, kiss, reach your hands into/under clothes, hands explore between legs, one person could kneel for oral. Wondering how you go down on a vulva in standing (we highly encourage you to try this)? Simply spread your legs, or place one foot on a nearby chair while standing.
- Explore other areas.
If there are height differences exploring different locations and stable surfaces around the house is a must. Try having one person sitting or laying down on a stable surface, while the giving partner stays standing, and faces them for insertion. Using higher stable surfaces is probably best if the giving partner is taller but can also work by using height appropriate surfaces if the giving partner is shorter. Just find a stable surface that is appropriate for the giving partners height and give it a go. You may not both be standing that’s ok just think of it as a variation to try.
- Free standing.
This is standing sex with no walls, furniture, or flat surfaces! This takes more effort for both partners and as hot as it is it is the most athletic option. For this stand and carry style position the receiving partner will wrap their legs around the giving partner’s waist, while the giver uses at least one hand to keep the receiving partners butt/hips in place. This position takes trust, endurance, and strength. If you are able and you are comfortable, give it a go. If one or both of you get tired just move to one of the more supported positions.
Please remember to check anything you are leaning against or that you are using for support is stable. Please remember to check that surfaces you are standing on are non-slip. Please remember foreplay is important not only to increase pleasure but also to assist with those angles of penetration. Please remember to communicate and if you get tired just move to a more supported option.
Enjoy exploring these position, there is no doubt it's a fun one to explore.
