More women are trying anal sex according to the Kinsey Institute. If you're considering having anal sex for the first time here are some tips to prepare, relax, and enjoy the moment.
Relaxing is important when you are attempting anal sex. Spend some time relaxing before your start, try something like taking a hot bath or have your partner give you a massage. You really want to be able to specifically focus on relaxing your anal muscles.
We talk about this a lot but communication really is key with any type of sexual activity including anal sex. It is important to talk about any concerns you may have, expectations, boundaries and to make sure that you have an understanding of how things will progress. While you are having anal sex is important that you are aware of how you are feeling and that you continue to communicate with your partner. If you are in pain or feel uncomfortable and you need to communicate that to your partner.
- Lather up
The anus and the lower part of the rectum actually have very little fecal material in them, which means it tends to not be nearly as dirty as you think. If you have any lingering anxiety you can use an anal douche or enema. They are not harmful if only done once in a while. It may help alleviate any concerns you may have about your bowels. You can keep it simple and use something as simple as warm water for a quick cleanse too.
- Engage in plenty of foreplay
Do not rush foreplay. One of the best ways to ease into anal sex is to make sure you're extremely aroused beforehand. Try for a couple of orgasms before you have anal sex, the more aroused you are the more relaxed you will be.
- Lots of Lube
The anus does not produce its own lubrication as the vagina does. More lubricant equals more comfortable which equals a more enjoyable anal sex experience. Make sure your choice of lubricant is condom-safe and that means water or silicone-based lubricant. Reapply as often as needed.
Three positions to try;
- You on top allows you to control the speed and depth of penetration.
- Spooning gives you shared control over movement but allows for intimacy which can help you relax.
- Doggy-style allows your partner easy entry but also puts them in full control, which may not be your preference if it is your first time.
Important note if you feel any pain at any point, tell your partner and get them to slow down, stop or change positions.
- Go slow
During foreplay, allowing your partner to gently rub around the opening with their finger, before experimenting with actually inserting anything. This is basically testing the waters and how you feel about what is to come. When you are ready to move to using a penis, a finger, or a toy, start slowly with just the tip before going any deeper. Be gentle and talk to one another, if it gets uncomfortable, communicate that to your partner.
It is common to hold your breath as you feel the pressure of penetration which means that you naturally tense up which leads to pain. So, remember to breathe, take deep, even breaths and focus on relaxing. You may also feel like you have to go to the bathroom when you first start, breathe and try going with it. Again, be gentle and talk to one another, if it gets uncomfortable, communicate that to your partner.
- Double play
Shared nerve endings between the walls of the vagina and the anus, can make doubling up on stimulation can be highly pleasurable. Try inserting a finger or sex toy while into the vagina during anal.
- Use a condom
Safe sex practices are still important to prevent the transmission of STI’s so just because there's no risk of getting pregnant, does not mean no condom. It is important to remember not to go from anal to vaginal penetration with the same condom (change it) as that can spread bacteria and infections.
- It is OK
Anal sex is not for everyone for some, anal sex is a ‘no way’, for others it's a possibility and others it is a ‘yes please’. No matter which you are it is OK, there is no right or wrong answer.
Books that touch on the topic;
Disclaimer: The information contained in this document should be read as general in nature and is only to provide and overview of the subject matter. Please read product packaging carefully and follow all instructions. Seek advice specific to your situation from your medical professional or mental health professional. Safe - Sane - Consensual