If we say Sex what do you think? You would not be alone in thinking intercourse when you hear the word sex. You would also not be alone in thinking that intercourse in the be-all and end-all of sex……… It makes the Bliss staff a little sad to hear how common this thinking is.
Intercourse is not the way the many clitoris-owning people experience pleasure and orgasm. Most of us with vulvas find that clitoris is the powerhouse of pleasure but for many it is underutilized and underappreciated. Patriarchy, poor sex education, taboos around female pleasure, or other cultural influences could all be argued as reasons for this.
The mindset that P-in-V intercourse is the be-all-end-all of sex is sexist, patriarchal, and old-fashioned. Think penis centric, procreative sex and the world being more comfortable with the male pleasure than female. This type of thinking minimizes the needs of women in pleasure and sex, what is that I hear you ask - direct stimulation of the most sensitive part of the genitals the clitoris. Intercourse can be painful for some due to medical conditions, personal preferences, and the basic fact that it does not bring them pleasure.
I call BS.
Sex does not equal intercourse. Intercourse is not a pre-requisite for quality, fully satisfying sex. Pleasure is valid and satisfying with or without intercourse and all parties deserve to experience pleasure with sex.
Here are 5 ways you can have sexual pleasure without penetration;
1. All sexual pleasure begins in your brain, your brain is the largest sex organ you have. Try embracing the cerebral side of pleasure instead of going straight for genitals. Try dirty talk and sexting or reading an erotic story. If talking dirty sounds terrifying, take it slow - we have some tips on that too. Take it slow, no judgment, and enjoy exploring together.
2. Try some toys. We may be a little bias but toys are must-have. Toys are designed with pleasure in mind, built to help give you orgasms. We know there is a lot to choose from but if you start simple with a bullet or finger vibrator with a quality lubricant you will not be disappointed. If you like the idea of something you can use for external and internal stimulation there are some fantastic vibrators in our range built with that in mind.
3. Stimulate your erogenous zones we have so many erogenous zones on the body that can bring us pleasure and orgasms. Some prime examples include the clitoris, nipples, vulva, perineum, and anus. You can get a massage from your partner to enjoy them or you can use a wand to explore them yourself. If you want to learn more about erogenous zones you can read more here.
4. Try 69 position. Not everyone's favorite but it is a total sensory experience, it can heighten the sensory experience because it includes multiple stimuli such as touch, taste, and smell. (you can even try a flavoured lubricant) The trick is to try a mind-shift away from a sex act means everyone should climax and instead reduce the pressure to orgasm, enjoy the sensory and pleasurable experience - the act becomes wholly more pleasurable.
5. Try edging is when you bring your partner (or yourself) to the very brink of orgasm only to stop right before they go over the hill. The idea behind this is that when you build up sexual tension over and over again when you do eventually reach orgasm it is a more intense release.
Try these ideas and see what pleasure you can experience without intercourse. See how you can expand the old idea of what sex is. Once you have experienced that next-level of pleasure and orgasm, penetration will be the furthest thing from your mind. You will not be disappointed.