There are a few simple, sexy tricks that can light a fire under your sex life. You don’t necessarily need to buy a bunch of sex toys (odd for a sex toy store to say we know but it is true) or offer to drip hot wax on your body to reinvigorate your sex life. Simple things can make a big difference a little bit of enthusiasm and maybe a surprise can go a long way to blowing your partner’s mind in bed. It really can be that simple this summer.
1. Send a sexy text or three
Otherwise called sexting. It can be a raunchy or as veiled (just make sure your partner will get it) as you are comfortable with. The great thing about sexting is that you can say whatever you want without fear of awkward silence. You can be more adventurous and just go for it. It is a great precursor to the main event.
Here is a starter for you, “Can’t wait to get you naked”.
2. Be a Naked Surprise.
When your partner walks in the door, be waiting for him or her nude. Now this one can be tricky if you have kids but you can adapt the idea to fit your circumstances. Here are two versions of this idea;
After a long day at the office, coming home to you totally in the naked is going to make your partner’s day. Sex or no sex getting to see you naked just for them or giving them a naked massage to kick off the fun equals heaven.
The alternative if you have kids happens after the little ones have gone down for the night. As a surprise head to the bedroom a bit before your partner and surprise them when they come in to see you waiting for all sexy and naked just for them (pro tip, if sitting on the bed could equal laying on the bed that could equal falling asleep before they come in stay standing or sit on a separate chair).
3. Extend Foreplay
It is so easy to rush through foreplay and the sexy build-up of foreplay and jump straight into sex. It is not always practical we know but mixing up to take things to the next level every now and then is important. If you want a ballpark figure of how long to aim for when extending foreplay try 30 minutes solely to foreplay. Wondering what to do try taking it in turns giving each other a sexy massage and explore each other’s bodies.
4. No-Strings Oral
What on earth does that mean? Do you give head with the motivation of getting head in return? You are not alone but this time offers oral sex without any need for your partner to return it. There is nothing that is sexier than your partner showing total interest in your pleasure. It is a mind-blowing treat that is a huge turn on to make your partner feel good.
5. Grant a Wish
Or fantasy as it may be, take mental notes whenever your partner mentions a fantasy. Pick one that also works for you and explore it. You don’t have to buy elaborate costumes, you may have all you need around the house, just use your imagination. Imagination is a huge part of fantasy after all. Indulging your partner's fantasy will not only be a turn on for your partner but will make them feel appreciated because you heard them.
6. Naughty but oh so nice, spanking!
A conversation about boundaries and consent needs to happen before any spanking happens. It is a fun way to dip your toes into a little bit of kink. Remember some people enjoy it while others do not, and surprising someone with a spanking during sex is not consent.
Assuming your partner likes spanking or you have the ok to try spanking, give it a go. It sends shockwaves through the whole sexual encounter. Start light and build up to stronger spanks. There will be more articles coming in the new year about topics like spanking.
7. Blindfold Baby.
In the same vein as spanking - boundaries and consent conversation needs to happen. If you have a sleep mask or a scarf around the house they make great makeshift blindfolds. Playing with a blindfold is a little light bondage that can sit ok with many people, but it is important to ask for consent before you blindfold someone and pay attention to the feedback, they give you.
Blindfold play takes away one of our senses and can heighten others. Lie your partner down, cover their eyes and take some time to explore their body. It can also be a great way to slow the brain down if you find it hard to get out of your head and into your body. So it can be the treat you didn’t know you wanted.
8. Tell Your Partner How Sexy He or She Is
If dirty talk is something you’re not comfortable with, that’s ok. You don’t have to be explicit. Telling your partner how sexy they are and how much what they’re doing turns you on can be enough (even telling them how sexy they are to you if it is something you don’t do that often can be a huge turn on). Sex is a vulnerable position to be in. You’re both naked and want to feel good about yourselves while making each other feel good. Simply telling them how sexy they are can be incredibly validating.
We had to do it!
9. Bring a Toy to Bed.
We know we said you don’t need to include toys but sex toys up the ante on pleasure. We’re not necessarily talking about a giant dildo or anal beads (unless you want to); a simple bullet or finger vibe can bring a whole other level of fun for all involved. A bullet or finger vibrator is perfect for clitoral stimulation and a little ball sack/perineum stimulation. So fun for all! A fantastic addition to play without being dramatic.