Edging is a simple sexual technique that can be used to increase overall sexual satisfaction. You stimulate yourself or your partner to the point of almost-orgasm – Stop - Take a break - then start again. The practice of edging means we have to focus on the moment on our bodies on our partner. You can vary sessions of edging by either dialling down your arousal much lower when we stop to break and build it back up, or stay near the ‘edge’ of orgasm for a long time without actually orgasming.
How does edging work?
- Stimulating someone to the point of almost-orgasm, how do you do that?
- Communication and trust. You need to communicate and trust yourself and your partner. The idea of edging is to get as close to climax as possible without having a release. This process can be repeated until the person is ready to orgasm. If agreed on you can add an element of control into edging by having one partner decide when the other is allowed to orgasm, this is known as orgasm control.
- For a clitoris, you use your hand or a sex toy (the Sona by Lelo or Sila by Lelo is built for this) to stimulate the clitoris. Then when you feel like you are close to orgasm, simply stop what you’re doing, remove the toy. It will be tempting to go over the edge and orgasm but it is worth it is you follow the ebb and flow of your pleasure. Edging produces stronger and more powerful than your usual orgasms.
The benefits of edging.
- Increasing the intensity of orgasm you experience.
- It is not only about orgasms, trust and power dynamics are a major part of it.
- It can bring you closer to a partner.
- It can help you get to know your own body’s threshold for different kinds of stimulation.
- It is a mindfulness and can help you gain awareness of your own body and nervous system, which may allow you some control over your arousal levels.
- Edging can also be used to help with all kinds of issues around climax, ranging from trouble orgasming to premature ejaculation.
How to start.
It’s pretty straightforward once you get the hang of it so don’t be intimidated. Practice does make perfect or at least a whole lot of fun. Nothing we try the first time goes perfectly and that is ok. Here are a few tips on how to start;
- Start a conversation either with your partner or take a minute to connect with yourself. You need enthusiastic consent before you try this one.
- Start with a relaxation technique of your choice to calm down your nervous system and connect with your body (and one another).
- Focus on the pleasure in specific parts of your body, while trying to relax as much as you can in any muscles that you aren’t actively using.
- Don’t go straight for the clitoris or the penis. Pleasure builds in your entire body.
- You only need to bring your partner or yourself to the brink of orgasm, don’t get too close or you may accidentally end up orgasming. (It is ok if you do, you just get to try again later).
- When you or your partner get close to orgasm stop touching yourself or your partner.
- As the person close to orgasm take deep belly (diaphragmatic) breaths for at least 30 seconds, and then if you feel like you have calmed down somewhat start up touching again.
- Repeat that process as many times as you want.
- Try different erogenous areas, to try to have an all new type of orgasm.
- Let yourself orgasm or let your partner orgasm.
Disclaimer: The information contained in this document should be read as general in nature and is only to provide and overview of the subject matter. Please read product packaging carefully and follow all instructions. Seek advice specific to your situation from your medical professional or mental health professional. Safe - Sane - Consensual