When people find out I am a sexologist - sexuality educator I get some odd questions. Though the most common question I get is what is your most effective sex tip? It is simple and one of my favourite topics.
Touch, Touch more.
Sounds simple doesn’t it? Yes, but touching more often in your relationship has the power to transform your sex life. If you are thinking about spicing up your sex life, you may be thinking blindfolds and other things inspired by 50 shades and touch is probably not the first things that comes to mind. Most people think they need to do more elaborate stuff but it really can be a simple as starting with touching more.
Touch sounds simple, but when you stop and think about it there are so many different types of touch: caresses, massages, hugs, cuddles, embraces, tickles, and the list goes on. After how you touch there is where you touch, you could touch: hands, feet, backs, faces, shoulders, arms, legs, and more. There are so many different messages you can convey with your touch: love, relaxation, seduction, sympathy, playfulness, desire. I am sure you can think of more.
Bringing more touch into your relationship is an amazing way to create a sense of connection, intimacy and excitement before you even get to the bedroom. It can be a catalyst for the two of you to explore even more.
Here are 3 reasons to include more touch in your relationship;
1. Touch feels amazing!
Do you remember the first few times you and your partner touched? Do you remember the little thrill you got from skin to skin contact? Just a simple touch could make you tingle in all the good places.
I am sure that even once that initial thrill wears off your partners touch still feels good. In fact, many forms of touch can feel even more pleasurable than sex techniques. There are so many options for experimentation with touch in the bedroom. You could spend an entire month just touching to spice things up without even having intercourse.
(Note: This is all referring to consensual touch)
2. Touch is less intimidating
I have found that when someone is told that they need to try new things in the bedroom it can be altogether too overwhelming, and they do not get very far in spicing up. It puts us in a vulnerable position to step out of our comfort zone to try something new, let alone try something new in the bedroom for fear of being foolish. Try new ways of touching can feel a lot less intimidating than trying new techniques for sex. It can place less pressure on us to perform then sex and minimise the negative emotions that can take over when perfectionism kicks in.
All this can allow us to be more open to exploring more.
3. Touch increases your desire
Whether it is self-touch or a partner touching you touch increases desire. If you want to try new things in the bedroom, you (both) have to feel the desire first. If you are a person who has a responsive sex drive (you are less likely to feel mentally desire to have sex until you are physically aroused) or if your partner does, cuddling, touching, and kissing, can bring desire naturally to the surface, and increase the chances of physical arousal and wanting to continue. Touch is a great catalyst.
Don’t think of the time you invest in touch as “foreplay.” The idea is to enjoy physical contact simply for the sake of physical contact, it is important to nurture intimacy and connection in your relationship with self and with partner that has nothing to do with sex. See what it’s like to continue your day or night after having increased how often you touch.
It sounds simple, I know, but the truth is as individuals in modern society we are touch starved. Most relationships are also touch-starved that just the simple act of increasing the amount of touch in your relationship has the power to make a big impact on your relationship and your sex life.
Bliss for women sells many products that you can use to increase touch in your relationship. Skin to skin contact is important but there are some great massagers and massage oils in our store that can add even more variety to how you touch. Toys like Mimi Soft massager is a delightfully soft and indulgent toy that can be used to massage all parts of the body from shoulders to the vulva or penis. Elite Massage and lubricant is a versatile and heavenly product that is great whether you are giving foot massage on the lounge, a full body massage or a more sexual activity like sex.
Try talking to your partner about bringing more touch into your relationship, give it a go and remember anything you try needs to be Safe, Sane and Consensual.